April 5 2011 - Lazy Day

I don't think I've done homework all semester. I say to myself what's the point? I'm just going through the motions of a grade twelve student itching to leave. I skim through class taking notes but not absorbing any information. My mind is too busy with thoughts of next year. Waiting, forever waiting. Waiting to attend my final university audition to just get it over with already. Waiting to hear back from other universities so I can start making my decision. Waiting for grade twelve to be over. Waiting for the summer to be over, to make ... you know... another fresh start. I feel like I'm waiting for my life to begin. Everyone tells me, things will get better once you move away, start over, meet new people. What if things aren't better? Why are people teaching me to run? That may a bit of an exaggeration but for the most part let's get to what we're really talking about here. I thought I could be happy regardless of my situation, regardless of where I am and what I'm doing, I'm supposed to be happy aren't I? I want to be happy now, and I'm having such a hard time, so I'll turn these next few lazy days into unstopping work. Housework, homework, and just plan work. Just submiss myself into the motions until summer, and soon enough September are finally here. Hopefully I can take my small victories of joy in the last few routines I have to perform in this dingy place. I love you highschool, but... but I really don't.