As the title of this post suggests things are not exactly ideal. I feel as if my life has quickly taken a turn for the worst, but at the same time it has all been a gradual process that has led me to this hopelessness I now feel. The audition I have previously mentioned in earlier posts? The Ryerson one? The one I felt so confident about, the school that I really enjoyed, the place that really felt like home, didn't accept me. "Your audition was not as competitive as others." Thaaaankkks. So that's fine. I cried for a day and got over it. This is the theatre business after all. So now I await news back from York University. Might I remind you that it is May 16 and the university application centre requires my decision by the 2nd of June. I feel as if York has no intention of accepting me, or even declining me anytime soon. So needless to say this wait alone is killing me. My entire future is in limbo, and there's absolutely nothing I can do about it. To make matters worse my 18th birthday is fast approaching. But that's not the only special thing about June 3rd. This day doubles as the day I am due to move out of my parents' house after a few select brutal fights.
This may not seem like something to be posting on the internet, but I'm not concerned that anyone of serious consequence is going to read this. The only way to see this as a bright situation is to continue to tell myself that this kind of hardship builds character. Yet deep within, my heart is broken to think that my life is coming to this: a failed teenager with what was once a bright future is now moving out of the house after being to difficult for anyone to handle. This is...... not what I pictured. Not what I dreamed or hoped for. To say the least. And what am I going to do about it? Wait. I guess.
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